[JAPAN 2012] Sayapinky's guide to living cheap in Tokyo (for girls)

Disclaimer: This is purely for fun, don't take any of it seriously. Really.

So,

you're finally in Tokyo!
Oh, how long have you waited for this.
Saved up money, begged your parents to give you an early birthday present to support your upcoming shopping-sprees, made long lists of stuff you want to see, places you want to go and foods you want to eat.

Problem is, Tokyo is expensive.

Really expensive.

After you've gone crazy in Shibuya 109 once or twice, being fooled by the cute little girls screaming "TIME SALE! 50% OFF!", raided one convenience store after the other and had five meals a day at different delicious restaurants, your wallet is crying loudly.

This is where you need

Sayapinky's guide to living cheap in Tokyo

(for girls)

(Sorry guys, there's just not as many horny women out there......)

This is a guide considering of eight (more or less) easy steps that will secure your loss of all dignity but get you a couple of free meals or more, depending on how far you are willing to go!

Enjoy.

Step one:

Do not do this on your own. Bring a friend. It's much more fun, and being picked up by weird old men is a little less scary if you're not on your own. Of course, if you like to play it risky, then YOLO, go by yourself.

Step two:

Make-up is your friend.

Make your eyes look big. The bigger they are, the more foreign you look, and the more they will want to date you. Ergo, the more stuff they will pay for you.

Like this:

Remember, the bigger, the better. Think of a bug and aim for that.

Step three:

Buy a bunch of cute looking clothes. They will love you forever. It doesn't matter if all the Japanese girls weigh a third of your bodyweight and carry the clothes so much better than you. You're foreign. You will always be cuter.

Step four:

Place yourself in some extremely random place on the street. It could be next to a guy in a full-body catsuit dancing weirdly to make people enter a girl's bar. If so, make sure to dance along with the cat and show the world what a happy, cute personality you have.

Step five:

Sit on your random spot for a long time just chilling. Remember to be much more appealing than the people hanging out around you looking like life sucks.

When people come up to you and try to make you go drink with them, turn down the young ones. They have no money. They will not pay stuff for you. They only want to get in your pants. They are a no-go.

However, when cheery men at a decent age (no, not 60+. They may be rich, but that reaches the border of sugardaddy) ask you to go do random stuff (this will include bowling, speaking from personal experience), agree to go. If they have Armani suits and Chanel bags, consider your mission a success. Expensive sushi has been secured.

I mean...

Dignity < Sushi

anyday

Step six:

Speak in Japanese to them. It's OK if you only can say a little. They will almost shit themselves and think you are the smartest, most charming being on the planet.

Step seven:

Laugh cutely at everything they say and make sure to be way more humble than you should. It's cute. They will love you.

If you laugh at their weird suggestions and stupid jokes, they will think you are even cuter than they already do. Remember you're foreign. That you're stupid is just because you're a foreigner. You are cute.

Step eight:

Enjoy when they invite you out for sushi. Enjoy when they compliment how cute and foreign and big your eyes are. You have succeeded, and you can now spend all of your money on useless stuff like make-up and way too small clothes that you don't need. You have now officially gotten yourself a pimp.

Feel free to get more than just one. The richer, the better.

PS.

remember following this guide will greatly decrease your dignity and you might seem remotely skanky.

PPS.

then again, you might actually make friends from this.

PPPS.

but okay, you might also meet a bunch of creepers. (this is sadly much more likely than the above)